I got really angry at Andrea because when I was at Andy's house she called me and told me she was pregnant. I thought it was a joke and was like, stop joking with me. And she kept saying it wasn't a joke and that she was dead serious. It took almost 5 minutes of me being like "WHAT THE FUCK" silently in my head and not saying anything before she realized that that shit wasnt funny at all and she should stop pulling my fucking chain. She realized I was really angry and ended up ending the conversation. I guess we just have different senses of humor, cause I didnt think that was very funny. I feel like we haven't been getting each other lately...

Today, Andrea called me from Mike Figura's graduation party. It got me ridiculously angry how she kept talking to me like she pitied me. Why on earth would I want to go to Mike's party when I know that he hates me?

I imagine not being with Andrea and its both unbearable and exactly what I need at the same time. I dont want to go through the same shit that I felt after Nina, I dont want to have another hater running around, I dont want to make her cry. But the way things are isn't right. I dont know if this is because I'm about to leave all of my closest friends 986 miles away and I dont have time right now and I have other things on my mind, or if its because I just have this gut feeling that we weren't meant to work things out between us.

I feel really stupid when I think about how me and Andrea are together. After me and Nina broke it off, for 2 or 3 weeks I was really upset. I kept thinking I should have tried harder, I needed someone to talk to, I needed someone to kiss, I needed someone to tell the random things that popped into my head and everything that I saw or heard reminded me of her.

I feel like we are together now because I'm too much of a pussy; because I'm scared shes going to cry, that I'm going to regret it in the future, that she would hate me.


PS "Do you like to cook? Maybe YOU should be a chef!"
The Cooking and Hospitality Insititute of Chicago has stupid ass commercials.