wow

It just kind of hit me know.  I'm about to go to college.  The summer (while not officially over until classes start in a few days) is ACTUALLY over because waking up in the morning and knowing what's going on and being able to call people and make plans is over.   My mom walked up to me 20 seconds ago and asked if I was going to be driving the car anywhere else tonight.  I said probably not.  She told me to give the keys back to make sure I didnt bring them with me.  

Things I didnt realize

* I wont drive again for over two months.

* I only have one more night in my bed.

* If I dont bring something with me, I wont get it until parent weekend in October

* I actually need to clean my room

Dear Andy,

While we were in China I was writing things down in a book every once in a while.  I just found it today.  Inside it said you and a certain someone slept in the same bed TWICE... DAYMN.  I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE SECOND TIME.  REMEMBER WHEN MATT SLEPT OVER IN ANNA'S ROOM?  YEA???  AND HOW BRENDA DIDNT WANT TO BE THERE???? YEA???  

I just realized I wrote about the only two people who might read this (but probably dont)

Cleaning my room today

I threw out a lot of paper.  Most of it was from Statistics, AP Japanese or the college app process; Three things I am so glad are over.  I'm definitely ready to move on.

Awkward...

I was in Andrea's room with her.  All of a sudden Mirna is yelling for Andrea.  SHIT.  After blustering about for a second she goes downstairs.  Her Mom glares at her and asks what shes doing.  Andrea says we were watching a movie.  Her mom glares at her and tells her to go back upstairs and finisher her job, that they will talk tomorrow.  FML, AWKWARD.

Today was just too emotional.  It was kind of bad.  Andrea cried a lot, but then again I completely understand.  I am more than a bit worked up about leaving everyone behind.  Andrea also had a really off hand comment that really got me worried about weather I'll be making (and for that matter, have BEEN making) real friends.  Daymn, too much for one day.  

Also, I got 650 dollars worth of free stuff today.

        $100 free printer

        $250 free iPod 

        $ 250 free clothes

iPod and Printer came with the LAPTOP that i can now skype yall niggas off.  Skype me trick (hnatsukowat, my name is misspelled in skype, not just here).  The 250 dollars of clothing came from this ridiculously amazing sale at the GAP.  I was planning on buying a couple of sweaters.  I ended up getting 14 shirts because it was BUY ONE GET ONE FREE.  It made everything seem so fucking cheap, my mom just kept saying we should buy more.  Daymn.  Im like the gap poster child, everything except my t-shirts come from gap now.

The Track Kids

I think they are really annoying. They stand around and stare at each other, make really dumb intellectual jokes, and really think they are better than everyone else. BUT, they have gotten one thing down. Although the majority of them split up, they still keep in really close contact. Ted told me a bunch of times how he hung out with the whole track group and did a bunch of stuff. Will we as a group of friends have less staying power because we dont interbreed as much? Because we dont span as many grades and thus lack the same anchor into Northside? Hell no niggas. If those annoying rubix cube kids can keep in touch so can we.

Dear UIUC niggas

Hey, so the last year and a half was some really good times. We have a lot of shit to laugh about. Lets keep telling each other about all the funny shit that happens to us. That way, when we meet up during our school breaks it wont be like we are reintroducing ourselves to strangers.

If you went to Fernando's BBQ it was kind of sad. Fernando had two friends from grammar school there. They were named Brian and Harley. Neither one of them said anything to the rest of us. IF I COME TO YOUR PARTY AND END UP AS THE OLD PAL FROM HIGH SCHOOL THAT NO ONE TALKS TO, ILL BEAT YOUR FACE. Lets keep up blogs that everyone sees so that when we blog about our own lives and shit we:

1) keep in touch with all the othAH mothAH fuckAHs
2) kind of introduce all of our friends to each other
3) dont end up awkwardly trying to catch everyone up when we see each other

Bye Greg

I thought it would be a major disappointment. Monday was planned out perfectly and then it all fell apart with a single text. Then, Tuesday started. I had this visceral feeling that it would all fall apart. I was going to be ridiculously late because I had to eat dinner with my cousins. I wasn't sure how I would get there. Should I try to get my Dad to drop me off and risk having him see all my friends? Should I try to drive myself and not be able to kick back and enjoy?

In the end it all worked out amazingly. I got to Kenji's house ridiculously early. Apparently they live kind of close to the edens expressway and I was eating dinner by 8. I stayed until 9:15, when everyone else left, chatted with Kenji in Chinese about things I never thought I would. Chinese alcohol, girlfriends, and the comfortable intercity trains. Surprise! Kenji is funny, I guess I had just never talked to him as anyone but a kind-of-cousin.

I got dropped off on the beach at 10. No problems with the padre. Drank plenty of the polish water. Had some MITSUWA CIDER. Coke, sierra mist, etc. We were going to take the bus back to Gregs house, but Jimmy finagled a ride from Hannah. Riding in her car we heckled John and Brian on their bikes. We went to Dunkin Doughnuts. I kind of fell asleep on the table. We went back to Gregs house. I kind of fell asleep on his lawn. We went inside and ate some rice to calm my stomach. We went upstairs and talked about many things.

Masturbation
Redtube and Orgasm School
Virgins in the class of 09
Girls and Asses
Danny being pretty fucked up
(He didnt know who drove him to Gregs)
(He was making wierd faces in the car)
Threesomes

There was so much more.
It was an amazing way to say good bye for now. We need to do this more often.

Today

Today I woke up around 8:45. I was like, WHOOPS, looks like no one called me to tell me about Connors eagle scout project so I can stay in and sleep. 5 minutes later, I get a call so I wake up, run out of the house, and spend the next 4 hours installing benches into a new amphitheater area in the North Park forest preserve (or something like that...). I also had breakfast at Wendy's

I got back home around 1:20. I took a shower cause I was sweaty as BALLS. It was raining and I was kind of upset because:
1) I like to work on days when it rains because then I dont have to do anything
AND
2) I was kind of tired and really wanted to sleep in the dark

Instead, I went to McCrights Eagle ceremony. The ceremony was pretty relaxed and afterwards there was pizza and cheesecake and this strange sherbert soda drink. I laughed with all the old scout people that I havent really hung out with ever since I got into swimming and stopped coming to meetings. Turns out they gave up weed. SURPRISE!?!!! I was suprised

I got home just in time to help my family set up for my brothers birthday party. I carried chairs, cleaned up the garbage from teh yard, took out the old trash bags, and basically rearranged things to the regular PEOPLE ARE COMING format. The party was pretty chill. I went and picked up Greg and Danny. Andrea and Calvin came over later too. I ate a lot (like you dont get it A LOT) of food. I played pingpong with a bunch of people. Caught up with the jap family and made plans for tuesday with them.

I made plans for tomorrow LOL

I took Greg and Danny out for a drive at 9. We sat in a park until these white kids came out and just stood there awkwardly. We left. We were gonna deliver Buffy season 4 to Mike Wojick but he was out. We picked up Daphne and then picked up Chrystal. I got yelled at trying to sneak into a burnt down house. We were gonna go talk to jimmy but we didnt cause he didnt pick up his phone. We parked the car by that scary house with the eyes and walked to Adrians. We sat on a street corner for a long time and talked about half asian girls, strange noises that turn you off during porn, all the gay kids at school and more. I dropped Danny off. Dropped off the Buffy.

Outside gregs house we had a 45 minute INTENSE conversation. Topics covered:

What the horizon would look like if the earth were flat
How thing would/could roll on a flat world
How long someone could possibly stay alive if they fell over the edge of the world (on the flat world)
Evolutionary biology of the flat world in relation to its center of gravity
Flying Vegetables/Vegetable-Animals resulting from plants EATING THINGS
The pinnacle of genetic evolution (ie US)
Pheremones and when girls are most attractive
The effect of going on the pill on someones genetic preferences

AND WAY MORE it was a good time.

Yesterday was amazing. I got out of work and drove to Gregs house to pick him up. I grabbed Adrian too and we went back to my house to grab Gregs book. It was a repeat of the last failed attempt at visiting Park Sensei. We stopped at my house for some rushed food. Joy Yee's in the car and Greg's vegetarian Cheese Burger (a cheese sandwich on a burger bun). We rang Park Sensei's bell and didnt get an answer. While sitting on her lawn deciding on our backup plan the door opens and its an 80 year old white woman. DAYMN. Wrong house. We go to the right house and ring the door, chat with Park Sensei until 10:45 and then have nothing to do. On the way back driving Greg and Adrian home, we stop for ice cream. We walk around for 20 minutes and then decide that since we are so close to Mike Wojcik, we might as well call him. We pull the car up over there while Mike walks his dog. We go visit Jenny Kane (who I've never actually talked to before that day) and sit around for nearly 2 hours. What did we talk about? I'm not even really sure. We turned into different kinds of chairs and laughed about it for a ridiculously long time. Stools, benches, bean bags, you name it we laughed at it. We got honked at twice by people telling us to go to sleep. We saw these two bros drive past and laughed at them and their backwards baseball caps and then they DROVE BACK AROUND and one asked where cauldwell was and the other yelled at us to shut the fuck up. We ate Jenny's blueberrys, peaches and pasta salad and peed in her bathroom. I got home at 2:20 AM. The night was relaxed and a very good bit of spontaneous fun.

On the way back to my car (we had to walk a couple blocks back to Wojciks) we saw this dude. I nodded at him and he looked at us and said "I miss these summer nights." I'm glad to say that this summer was definitely not a waste and that, when I'm a lame 25 year old walking around at 2 in the morning seeing a bunch of ridiculous kids pretending to be chairs in the middle of the street, I'll be saying the exact same thing.

Fuck all of you and your fucking apathy.

I wanted to do something intense this summer and everyone kind of laughed it off. I'm not saying I had a bad summer, I have a lot of things that I'm really glad I've done and I'll have a lot of funny stories to tell people in the future but really... why is it so hard to get everyone to do something? The only time things actually happen is when someone drives around and picks other people up. We chill out at each others houses (not that I'm complaining about that, if we didn't go to each others houses and bum out then I wouldn't be seeing anyone this summer) but why don't we go someplace and do something?

This summer has been far from a waste, but it's missing the cherry on the top.

If i plan something over winterbreak and people flake out, im gonna fucking break everyones arm. If you sigh or say whatever in your head or even get a little bit angry at me because I'm always being like this you can suck my dick.

Next time we build an igloo, lets sleep in it

B(log)/(itch)ing

I realized I mostly complain on blogs. When things are going good I'm not really motivated to write it all down. That is kind of sad because if someone reads this blog in the future and dosen't already know me, they might think i'm some kind of depressed idiot.

Anyway. I think she knows that somethings up. Today I invited her along with the guards to come eat at Buffalo Wild Wings. Im pretty sure she had a bad time, she barely said anything and was texting under the table 90% of the night. When we talk its very stilted, we dont laugh except when we know that the other one expects us too. I would say that, on a scale of 1 to 10, our level of hostility is a 4. When we talk to each other we say "no" a lot...

I need her in Boston, I cant have 2/5 people I know in Boston pissed at me when I get there, but I cant keep going like this either. I need something to happen

I got really angry at Andrea because when I was at Andy's house she called me and told me she was pregnant. I thought it was a joke and was like, stop joking with me. And she kept saying it wasn't a joke and that she was dead serious. It took almost 5 minutes of me being like "WHAT THE FUCK" silently in my head and not saying anything before she realized that that shit wasnt funny at all and she should stop pulling my fucking chain. She realized I was really angry and ended up ending the conversation. I guess we just have different senses of humor, cause I didnt think that was very funny. I feel like we haven't been getting each other lately...

Today, Andrea called me from Mike Figura's graduation party. It got me ridiculously angry how she kept talking to me like she pitied me. Why on earth would I want to go to Mike's party when I know that he hates me?

I imagine not being with Andrea and its both unbearable and exactly what I need at the same time. I dont want to go through the same shit that I felt after Nina, I dont want to have another hater running around, I dont want to make her cry. But the way things are isn't right. I dont know if this is because I'm about to leave all of my closest friends 986 miles away and I dont have time right now and I have other things on my mind, or if its because I just have this gut feeling that we weren't meant to work things out between us.

I feel really stupid when I think about how me and Andrea are together. After me and Nina broke it off, for 2 or 3 weeks I was really upset. I kept thinking I should have tried harder, I needed someone to talk to, I needed someone to kiss, I needed someone to tell the random things that popped into my head and everything that I saw or heard reminded me of her.

I feel like we are together now because I'm too much of a pussy; because I'm scared shes going to cry, that I'm going to regret it in the future, that she would hate me.


PS "Do you like to cook? Maybe YOU should be a chef!"
The Cooking and Hospitality Insititute of Chicago has stupid ass commercials.